The First Form of True Love: Respect--Respecting a Child’s Individual Choices

Encouraging independence—A child happily prepares his own meal, embracing choice and self-expression. 🍞🥪✨

Respect is deep understanding and acceptance. It means acknowledging a child’s feelings, thoughts, and choices, rather than ignoring their individuality or attempting to change who they are. In his humanistic theory, psychologist Carl Rogers emphasised: “Only in an environment of unconditional acceptance can individuals freely develop their potential.”

Respecting children means letting them feel seen, heard, and valued for who they are.

One day, I prepared a lavish lunch and invited my children to eat together. My son glanced at the meal and said, “Mom, I don’t want to eat this.” His refusal triggered a momentary flash of displeasure in me. However, I quickly realised that my son is usually considerate of others and often suppresses his needs to avoid conflict. The fact that he was expressing his feelings today made me proud. I wanted to encourage him to voice his true thoughts.

I smiled and said, “Son, I’m so glad you’re expressing your thoughts. Everyone has their preferences, and food is no exception. However, I’ve already made the meal, so I can’t cook separate dishes for everyone. How about checking the kitchen to see if there’s something you’d like to eat? It’s also a great opportunity to practice preparing your meal.”

He was thrilled, ran to the kitchen, and made a sandwich. Bringing it to the table, he joined us for lunch. I asked him, “How does it feel?” He replied, “Great!”

I responded, “I’m happy too because you were brave enough to express your true self and put in the effort to follow through on your choice.” He smiled at me and continued eating happily.

By respecting a child’s choices, we not only fulfill their emotional needs but subtly teach them how to solve problems. Respect becomes an invisible support for a child’s growth, helping them explore their world confidently.

Respect is a foundation of unconditional love that allows children to feel valued as individuals. It fosters self-esteem, encourages self-expression, and builds a secure foundation for them to navigate challenges and grow into independent, resilient individuals.